Why is it that everyone looks forward to lunchtime? Don’t pretend that it’s because you want to hang out with your friends or coworkers. And I know it isn’t the fresh air you want. Tell the truth, it’s the food isn’t it?
Dear Good ‘ol Sandwich,
Where do I begin? I’ve loved you since I was a kid. Actually, you’re the reason I passed grade school. There was nothing better than sitting at the cafeteria table knowing I had a delicious sandwich waiting for me. I promise you helped me get on the honor roll, even when I had the “itis” from eating too much.
Now, as an adult, I can’t help but notice all the lives you are still touching. That’s right, adults fight over you too. I watch you during the office meetings. You slowly try to crawl off the catering plates and run for your life. I can hear you praying to the lunch gods and goddesses to make everyone go for the fruit instead. But how can they resist you? What you don’t know is people love you so much, they are willing to fight over you, run from room to room, and even risk missing important meetings looking for you. Oh, did I mention that there are secret trackers to locate which room you are in? It is not a game. Nothing is as loved as you are. I salute you for trying to escape, for hiding behind the salad, and for changing your name to wrap and panini. I say teach them (not me) a lesson. Pretend you are in a paintball game and start throwing fruit when they come after you. You can have your life back. Go get ’em!
The girl who can loan you a sling shot.